Invisible

Sunday, November 15, 2015

I recently turned 54. Yikes 54.  I certainly don't feel old in my head, but my body says otherwise.
It's not easy getting older. There are so many changes that creep up on us--midlife is tough, I won't lie.  I'm awake every night with hot flashes that feel like someone has lit me on fire. No sleep equals bags under the eyes. Mine are large sacks. My contact prescription gets stronger every year and my neck is going south along with the rest of my body. There are days when I can't even remember my own name. Yep, changes are happening and most of it is out of our control. But change is a part of life.

I recently shopped with my client Chris. Over the past year she has gained a little weight, which has really gotten her down. I always think she looks gorgeous no matter what (she's a beautiful woman!), but of course we don't see ourselves the way others do. She told me something that really disturbed me. She said that she feels invisible and that mid-life women are invisible in general--we blend in.  This is where I disagree....we don't have to.

Yes there are certain things that we can't change, but there are many that we can...

  • We can change our outlook and accept ourselves the way we are. We are evolving, getting wiser, and becoming even more beautiful. 
  • We can change the negative messages that we play in our heads (we all do this) and replace them with positive ones. 
  • We can change our attitude. I like to laugh at the crazy things that happen...humor is healthy. My friends and I have had some major belly laughs at our midlife escapades. We can all relate...we're going through this journey together!
  • We can change what we wear. Whoever made up the crazy rules about what we can and can't wear at a certain age must have been terribly frumpy.  Sorry, but I'm not buying into that. I wear what I love, what makes me happy and what I feel fabulous in.
Playing dress-ups at Billy Reid in Charleston, SC. And why shouldn't a 54 year old wear a leather vest ?
More that I like here, here and here.
  • We can take care of our skin...there are so many amazing creams (another blog) and non-surgical procedures out there that work wonders. 
  • We can pay attention to our hair and get a flattering cut and color. Or we can choose to go gray, which I think is gorgeous on many women. 
  • We can hold our head high and embrace where we are now....right now, in the moment.
  • And we can take extra good care of ourselves We deserved to be pampered.  After years of raising kids, being a wife and holding down a career, it's my turn now.  And it's yours too. 

I'll never forget a birthday message I got from one of my dear friends. "Happy birthday, you're alive".
Enough said.

Cheers to midlife

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5 comments

  1. I totally agree with you, women in midlife don't have to be invisible. And many aren't. You are a great example! But I also know that we are all our own worst critics. It's easy to focus on all the things that aren't what (or where) they used to be... It's important that self care is so important and helps us feel our best. And when we feel our best, everything else in our lives is a lot better.

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  2. Thanks for sharing those words of wisdom Andrea. You are so right. XO

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  3. What a super post. I turned 50 this year and definitely do not feel it and agree with all of your comments. I love having a laugh and am convinced it helps you stay younger!

    Look forward to reading more from you and you might like my blog too. xx
    Yvonne from www.funkyforty.com

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  4. Thank you so much Yvonne! Can't wait to check out your blog! Susan

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  5. Cute clutch :)
    BLOG M&MFASHIONBITES : http://mmfashionbites.blogspot.gr/
    Maria V.

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