Life as it was.

Well, almost.

It's been eight months since I finished a year-long treatment for leukemia. Over the past several months, I've finally been able to resume "normal" living...going to restaurants, weddings and other events, and shopping at stores without a mask.  After four years of living like a recluse, life as I knew it is a wonderful thing.

But it's not perfect.  There's an anxiety that goes along with reentering the world, along with a self-imposed pressure to fully catch up on all that I've missed. 

I just finished reading Between Two Kingdoms, the autobiography of Suleika Jaouad, who was diagnosed with an aggressive form of leukemia at age 22, and has since gone through two bone marrow transplants. She talks about the trauma of cancer, the isolation associated with being immunocompromised, life's uncertainties, survivorship, and most importantly, living life to its fullest.

I can relate to her experiences and feelings, as well as the fear of living with a serious illness. But one remark stood out to me.

She talks about living like it's your last day on earth and how this approach can actually be stressful given the pressure to "do it all" and to jam-pack every day. Instead, she suggests living like each day is  your first...live with wonder, fun, curiosity, discovery, and playtime. 

Since my cancer diagnosis and reentry into normal life, I've felt the need to do everything that I've missed over the past four years. There's been internal pressure to overload my schedule and it's been a bit exhausting! 

Living each day as if it's my first, changes the landscape. Instead of causing stress, it opens me up to experiencing life with a newfound joy.  Not a bad way to live!

It also challenges me to experience gratitude, and to find happiness in the small every-day moments that make life meaningful and full. 

However, living this way is also about embracing life's uncertainties and the unknown by becoming resilient and adaptable. After all, none of us know what tomorrow, or for that matter, the next second will bring.  When we spend the precious time we have on this earth worrying about what "could" happen, we lose the here and now.  

Life is a gift and when we treat it as such, we experience the world in a whole new way. And I have to say, it feels pretty darn good! 

If you haven't read Between Two Kingdoms, I highly recommend it. It's one of the best (if not "the" best) books I've ever read. I'm grateful to Suleika for the reminder to get of overdrive mode so I don't miss one glorious day of living.  Find her book here. 

One last thing and a topic for another blog. Cancer has also taught me to rid my life of toxic people. 

More to come. 

Thanks for stopping by.

xx Susan

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