I want to share a special love story. My love story.

I married the first-time-around at a young age. I was just out of college, I'd been through a lot of trauma in my life, and I was looking for stability, love, and security. But I ended up with the opposite.  No blame, but my ex and I were not a good match. The marriage was volatile, and although I tried to be the perfect wife, cooking, cleaning, and taking care of him, I was unfulfilled and miserable. Two wonderful children came along and I was even more determined to make it work.

But it didn't. It couldn't. 

After many futile therapy sessions, I called it quits and things got nasty quickly.  I was forced to move out of our house (bad legal advice) and I bought a tiny condo nearby so my kids could stay in the same school system. Life was upside down and I was a stressed out wreck trying to balance single parenting, emotionally distraught kids (who had been through a bit too much havoc), a move with no help, and working at a  job that I desperately needed to pay the bills. After two grueling years of battling it out in court, we were finally divorced.

Enter Richard. We had known each other from our past professional lives, and one day we serendipitously met at the movies. Soft-spoken, sweet, kind, and yep cute, he was someone I wanted to get to know better. He was also going through a tough divorce (are there any easy ones?), so we could relate to the struggles. We exchanged phone numbers and agreed that we wanted to get together.

Our first "date" was at the Concord Inn in Concord, MA. I got there first and was NERVOUS! I hadn't dated in  years, although our former pool repair guy had asked me out and I politely declined. I clearly remember Richard walking into the restaurant wearing a trench-coat that was a few sizes too big (I notice these things!) but with a huge smile on his face. His eyes were kind, and although my knees were shaking under the table, his calm demeanor put me at ease. We chatted about everything including life, kids, work, and yes bad marriages. We were like two old friends...familiar, soft and warm. 

But then when the bill came, I waited for him to pick it up. When he didn't, I asked if we should split it, and said yes. Hmmmm! To this day we joke about it.

Two kids!

Wedding day! I wore a pink silk Ann Taylor dress, on sale of course!

However, as we celebrate 20 years of marriage (a milestone for two seniors), Richard encouraged me to choose a new ring.  I had actually been wearing a cubic zirconia because my Macy's ring had fallen apart over the years (you get what you pay for!), so I was ready for an upgrade. There was no question as to who we would buy the ring from... Erdem!

AND twenty years later, he remembered us! 

Meet Erdem!

So where to start when choosing a ring? If you know my style, it's fairly understated. Erdem showed me numerous rings, and although they were all gorgeous, I was drawn to a modern and simple design.

By the way, Erdem is a MASTER jeweler who is incredibly talented, creative, and also a super fun and wonderful person. Learn more about him here.  He's not a jeweler who sits behind a desk...he gets his hands dirty creating masterful pieces at his workbench.

Together we narrowed down the choices and I ended up with these two. My wedding band is on the bottom.

Can you guess the one I chose?

After several visits to see Erdem, I finally made my choice.  I decided on a three (yes THREE) carat lab- made diamond solitaire in a modern simple white gold setting. Did I say that my taste was understated? Oops! Once I made my choice, Erdem created a 3D model of the ring so I could see how it looked on my finger. It was SO helpful to get a visual! We both agreed that the band needed to be just a little thicker to balance the size of the diamond. 

And finally the process was over! Richard and I picked up the ring at Virtue Jewelers and Erdem, being the jokester that he is, came out with the 3-D plastic model first!  Very funny!

OK, enough with the joke...bring on the real ring! Of course Richard and I had to stage a repeat proposal too. His first proposal deserves a blog of it's own....it's quite the story!

I almost joked around and said "sorry I'm already married."

We are celebrating our anniversary today with an overnight at The Wentworth by the Sea in gorgeous Portsmouth, NH (one of our favorite places) and dinner at their amazing restaurant Salt Kitchen + Bar. Low-key but just perfect. 

To Richard. 

We've been married for 20 years, yet I've loved you for a lifetime. You bring so much joy, love, and happiness to my life and I cherish every second spent with you. You're the best (said with a punch on the arm....inside joke). I'll love you forever. 

Erdem's tips for choosing a diamond ring 

• Know the shape of your favorite diamond
• Choose a stone size you comfortable with 
• A 3-D model is very helpful to see what the ring will look like on your finger.
• Before you start to seriously look, get some information on the price of diamonds so you can have an idea of the quality, type, and size that works within your budget.
• Find a jeweler that you can trust and feel comfortable working with (of course I choose Erdem!),
• As far as lab-made versus natural diamonds, the only difference is where they come from. One is made in a laboratory and the other is from earth. Other than the price, they are chemically and physically (down to atoms!) identical. BUT natural diamonds cost a lot more because the mining takes intensive labor.  Plus, mined diamonds are formed in the earth over thousands of years where it takes just 2-3 months to create a lab diamond.  I always tell people when they’re picking a diamond that they need to ask their significant other if he/she prefers lab or natural. 

 "My philosophy is when choosing a diamond is always go with little bigger than you’re comfortable with. That's generally the perfect size!" Erdem