Toxic people
Wednesday, September 04, 2024
Toxic people.
Do you have some in your life?
I've had my fair share and recently got punched in the stomach (figuratively) by a few people who are very close to me.
After almost a year of therapy, I finally broke free. It wasn't easy, but I needed to disconnect for my own physical and mental health. Enough is enough.
This blog is a reflection of my own personal journey with the hope that it can help others going through similar situations. Of course always consult a practitioner if you are struggling.
I won't name names because my goal isn't to hurt anyone, but rather to share what I've learned to help those in damaging relationships.
Whether it be family or friends (and despite years of history together), not all relationships are healthy. And the toxic ones can be draining, stressful and even destructive to our health. After a life-time of getting emotionally beat-up, I finally had an epiphany that it was time to disconnect from these unhealthy relationships for my own self-protection.
Here are some of warning signs that come with toxic people, although I must mention that after many years of being exposed to emotional abuse, it can start to feel normal.
Lack of Support
Manipulations
Lies
Controlling Behavior
Abuse (physical or verbal)
Disregard of Boundaries
So when is it time to disconnect? It's a deeply personal choice, but for me it became a no-brainer. After each negative interaction, I felt exhausted, stressed, sad, hurt, and disrespected. Then there were the lies and manipulation which was intended to make me feel bad. And guess what? It worked!
My therapist recommended asking myself that if these people were strangers, would I even give them the time of day? Nope! So what kept me coming back for more?
Loyalty, guilt (what if something happened and I never saw them again?), and to be heard, loved, and understood. I made my case over and over again trying to explain how I felt, but no one was listening or even cared for that matter.
Disconnecting was one of the most difficult things that I've ever done, but also one of the most empowering. Once I broke free, I breathed a big sigh of relief and even started sleeping better. The negativity and stress was affecting me even more than I had thought and once I was "out", it became apparent that I did the right thing. I don't need abuse, lies, conflict, or drama in my life. Having recently gone through a year-long treatment for leukemia, my health is a priority and I'm not going to let anyone jeopardize it.
If you're struggling with a toxic relationship, I highly recommend talking with a therapist to figure out the best path forward. It was exceptionally helpful to have an objective voice to navigate my feelings and gain clarity.
Also, these amazing women on Instagram are SO worth following. They've truly been a gift to me with their words of wisdom.
Choosing to distance or disconnect yourself from toxic relationships is not selfish...it's about self-preservation and self-love. Your emotional and physical health is IMPORTANT.
These days, I choose to surround myself with people who uplift and unconditionally love and support me. And in return, I give them the same. Love is a two way street.
Remember you have a right to a peaceful life!
xx Susan
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